Pathways to Peace

One of the key lessons I learned from Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements is that as young children we’re nurtured in such a way that leaves us with rules and a way of living that we don’t even question. For many of us, we become aware of these rules when we try to deviate from them and experience tension. When this happens, we are faced with a decision to make. Will we choose to remain in the confines of what we know and in doing so keep our regulators - family, society, religion - happy? Or will we honor our knowing and begin creating our own rules?

The path to peace is not one of lavender essential oil and guided meditations. It is the process of acknowledging our inner desires and making them our reality. In better words by Don Miguel Ruiz,

Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.

If any of you are artists or have been to an artist’s studio then you will know that the process of making beautiful art is messy. It is also, at times, an arduous journey.

I’ve always thought of peace as appeasing everyone around me, and for most of my life that is exactly what I did. And last year, when I found myself alone in my apartment I started to realize the depth of the dissatisfaction I had with the life I had been living. It was not mine. I was keeping the peace, but I did not have peace.

My pathway to peace has been dismantling all the rules that I’ve lived by. It has been questioning my religion. It is assessing my relationships. It is trying to determine the terms that I want to live by and also giving room to myself to change too. None of this is easy, but each day I am becoming more proud of the life that I am living.

As I said in the first post, this is a journey to disappointing others so I don’t disappoint myself. It is realizing that if I wait to receive permission to live my life, I will likely be waiting in perpetuity. And who has time to wait, especially when tomorrow is not promised?

I used to think that life was in the answers after the tension dissipates, but I’m realizing more and more that life is in the tension and in the questions. This is the beauty of it. So remember, you’re an artist and it is your responsibility to create beautiful art (that is especially pleasing to you).