Half Way, Half Way

I cannot believe that today is day 10 of 20 and I am officially half way through this challenge. I am absolutely surprised by myself because prior to this challenge I don’t think I have been so consistent in dedicating time to my craft. At the height of a previous iteration of this website, I would post once a week at most. Now I am writing everyday?

I wanted to take stock of what I have learned at the half way mark, and hope to inspire you to start. On March 16th, I was lamenting to my friend Tiwa about my life and work woes. She stopped me dead in my tracks and asked me what was stopping me from beginning and why I had all these reasons why I couldn’t be a writer. I am not going to lie, it was a tough conversation to sit in and recognize that perhaps the only thing in my way is me. She made me promise I would write and promote myself across Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn, but most importantly that I would write everyday. So she asked me, how many days are you going to challenge yourself to do this? And I said, “20.”

There is no significance to the number. It was really just the first thing that came into my head, and as soon as I said it I instantly regretted it. I wrote in my journal later that night,

I don’t think I’ve achieved that level of consistency in my writing for a very long time, and maybe not even ever. But I don’t want to be scared. I want to be excited.

I was scared. I genuinely didn’t know what I was going to write about everyday and if anyone would even want to read what I have to say, but Tiwa reminded me that success only occurs when we take action. There was never going to be the right time or enough time. The time is now.

In this process, I’m reminded that I looooove writing. This is my safe place, this is where I can express myself most easily. Not only do I love writing, but I am a talented writer. This isn’t because of external praise, but because I feel most powerful when I sit down at my dining table, open up my laptop and start typing. I feel like the best version of myself.

I also learned that I will not always like what I write. I will also not always want to write, and it’s normal. I am loosening the ties perfectionism has on me in doing this because I have to show up every single day, and I am not perfect. It feels like such a relief to say that. I am not perfect… but I am enough.

Dr Maya Angelou said that creativity can’t be used up. The more you use, the more you have. So when I started fearfully, worried of not having anything to say, with each day I have found that I do have something to say. I have a voice. The more time I spend contemplating and trying to articulate revelations, the more I discover the depth of the creativity in me. This craft is like a garden that needs tending, and I am a gardener caring for my flowers, watching them grow, and hopeful that they will bloom.

Half way, half way. I know that I will complete this challenge because I now believe in me.

I am so incredibly grateful to be writing everyday, and to feel like it is possible to get everything that I want out of this life. I am thankful that you are coming on this journey with me, and letting me know the impact these posts are having on you.

Thank you.